| 改变爱人,为了感情还是为了掌控 |
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 点击数:601  发表日期:2008-12-14 21:59:16 |
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我的爱情故事？当然美妙无比啦！我的他/她？就是我的梦中情人，甚至更好。然后，第一件让人气馁的事情出现了：当初让我心动的一个癖好，现在让我恼火。这是关系瓦解的第一个讯号吗？没有人在投入一段感情时会明确地对自己说：“我要改变他/她。”但是在潜意识里，我们是否都会有这样的想法：“他/她会变的”？
My love story? Of course it is fantastic! My boy/girl? It is exactly the right one for me, even better. Then the first to make you discouraged appears, what attracted me now annoys me. Is it the first signal of relationship disintegration? No one could definitely say to oneself when a relationship started,＂ I want to change him/her.＂ But, in our unconscious mind, do we have this idea: he/she will change?
有人认为：为了使两人关系更加和谐而互相适应，这与企图改变对方，两者之间有很大的不同。改变对方，实际上是潜意识里想要掌握感情关系的控制权。
Some consider that it is quite different to adapt to each for a more harmonious relationship from to attempt to change each other. To change each other is to control the relationship unconsciously.
还有人认为：因为我和我的爱，他/她应该会改变。希望能影响对方，实际上是希望他/她能在乎我们的需要和感情，表明我们在他/她心目中很重要。
Others consider that because of our love, he/she will change. The will to affect each other is actually to wish him/her to care about our love, to show that we are important to him/her.
两人最初的激情如火过去后，接下来就要互相批评了：“放弃这个”、“改善那个”……说这些话究竟是为了对方好，还是为了自己好呢?
After the initial hot spot, criticism between each other is followed: ＂give up this, improve that＂..... Does these words for the sake of your lover or for yourself? |
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